The Candida Monkey

Today is the first day that I was feeling truly weak.  Not physically mind you, but my resolve was challenged.  It started yesterday when I had to turn off the computer due to a very persistent ad featuring a particularly delicious looking cinnamon bun.  Today as I was running errands the wafting aromas from the bakery at the mall and the pizza shop on the street caused me such distress that I had to rush past telling myself "eyes front, soldier!".  At the grocery store I stared at a key lime meringue pie as though it were a priceless work of art.  I have promised myself some on Saturday when Strict Week is over and I am allowed to claim my one weekly dessert.
This morning I ate the edge of my daughter's chocolate chip muffin.  She was done with it and I told myself that it was because I didn't want it to go to waste.  Baloney!  I felt so terribly guilty afterward for having broken my vow.  It's funny how a little muffin rind can cause such stress.
My mom, who is undertaking to leave sugar behind at the same time as I am, emailed me about the little voice of the Candida Monkey.  It is true that when one is cleansing the yeast bacteria that cause Candida will send messages to your brain to make you actually believe that you need more sugar and other yeast-friendly foods.  I takes the form of a little nagging voice like an evil conscience telling you things like "oh, I have been so good lately, I deserve a little treat" or "no one is telling me I can't have it" or "I need to keep my energy up because it is going to be a busy day" and so on.  The Candida Monkey is hard to ignore because it does such a darn good impression of one's own internal voice.  The good thing is that once the Candida is gone after three or four days, it is blissfully quiet inside one's head.
I am feeling generally pretty discouraged today though.  After yesterday's discovery of an extra ten pounds and my little tryst with a muffin, I am realizing that it is going to be a big challenge to achieve this goal.  I hope that I can stick with it and make writing about it just a part of my everyday routine.  As least I can be sure that Strict Week will only last a few more days until I decide to do it again.  More water, vitamins, and more exercise will also help me to feel better about myself and this entire process.  It is always hardest at the beginning of any long term campaign and I just need to keep on pushing.  Raaaah!  Goodbye Candida Monkey!